What is Fear?
According to Wikipedia:
"Fear is a distressing negative sensation induced by a perceived threat. It is a basic survival mechanism occurring in response to a specific stimulus, such as pain or the threat of danger. In short, fear is the ability to recognize
danger leading to an urge to confront it or flee from it (also known as the fight-or-flight response) but in extreme cases of fear (terror) a freeze or paralysis response is possible. Some psychologists such as John B. Watson,
Robert Plutchik, and Paul Ekman have suggested that fear belongs to a small set of basic or innate emotions. This set also includes such emotions as joy, sadness, and anger. Fear should be distinguished from the related emotional state of anxiety, which typically occurs without any certain or immediate external threat.
Additionally, fear is frequently related to the specific behaviors of escape and avoidance, whereas anxiety is the result of threats which are perceived to be uncontrollable or unavoidable.It is worth noting that fear almost always relates to future events, such as worsening of a situation, or continuation of a situation that is unacceptable. Fear can also be an instant reaction to something presently happening. All people have an instinctual response to potential danger. This emotion is described as fear and it is pre-programmed into all people. Fear, whatever its source, can become a controlling factor in a person’s life."
Fear was the topic of a meeting I was at last week and it got me to thinking. When we're children we fear the dark, the boogie man, falling off our bikes, etc. When we're teens/young adults we fear not being accepted, being abandoned (and yes I think we all have this inert fear), what that girl (or boy) in Homeroom thinks of us. As we enter adulthood we start to fear the future and what happens if we don't succeed, what if we don't know what we are going to do with our lives, being alone, etc. When you're parents you have fears (rational or not) about yourselves, your marriage (if we choose to go down that path) and your children. I remember when we brought my son home that first night, we sat on the couch crying, asking ourselves "how can they let us just bring this little child home with no training, no one to step in and keep him alive"; quite comical to look back on now (little did we know "help" was on the way, in the form of in-laws and SLEEP (every new parent's hero) ). We fear what to do with our children; education, too much TV or electric babysitter, over protect or let them be free, all those moments when you stop and think "damn there's a future counseling session waiting to hppen". We constantly ask ourselves if we are doing the right thing. Then as they get older and start down their own path, we realize... did any of that matter? They are who they are, and we can only help them so much.
I think the thing about fear is what we choose to do about it. A lot of people choose not to deal with it, not acknowledge it or just ignore it. Some people internalize it, or mask it with other emotions. Personally I've masked it or just not dealt with it. I don't think I've thought too much about it until lately.
I've always wanted to paint, write, cook, be a good husband and parent, and be successful. But the fear that my paintings would look like something done by a 4 year old with finger paints or that the expensive turkey I just bought would come out tasting something like from Christmas vacation
According to Wikipedia:
"Fear is a distressing negative sensation induced by a perceived threat. It is a basic survival mechanism occurring in response to a specific stimulus, such as pain or the threat of danger. In short, fear is the ability to recognize
danger leading to an urge to confront it or flee from it (also known as the fight-or-flight response) but in extreme cases of fear (terror) a freeze or paralysis response is possible. Some psychologists such as John B. Watson,
Robert Plutchik, and Paul Ekman have suggested that fear belongs to a small set of basic or innate emotions. This set also includes such emotions as joy, sadness, and anger. Fear should be distinguished from the related emotional state of anxiety, which typically occurs without any certain or immediate external threat.
Additionally, fear is frequently related to the specific behaviors of escape and avoidance, whereas anxiety is the result of threats which are perceived to be uncontrollable or unavoidable.It is worth noting that fear almost always relates to future events, such as worsening of a situation, or continuation of a situation that is unacceptable. Fear can also be an instant reaction to something presently happening. All people have an instinctual response to potential danger. This emotion is described as fear and it is pre-programmed into all people. Fear, whatever its source, can become a controlling factor in a person’s life."
Fear was the topic of a meeting I was at last week and it got me to thinking. When we're children we fear the dark, the boogie man, falling off our bikes, etc. When we're teens/young adults we fear not being accepted, being abandoned (and yes I think we all have this inert fear), what that girl (or boy) in Homeroom thinks of us. As we enter adulthood we start to fear the future and what happens if we don't succeed, what if we don't know what we are going to do with our lives, being alone, etc. When you're parents you have fears (rational or not) about yourselves, your marriage (if we choose to go down that path) and your children. I remember when we brought my son home that first night, we sat on the couch crying, asking ourselves "how can they let us just bring this little child home with no training, no one to step in and keep him alive"; quite comical to look back on now (little did we know "help" was on the way, in the form of in-laws and SLEEP (every new parent's hero) ). We fear what to do with our children; education, too much TV or electric babysitter, over protect or let them be free, all those moments when you stop and think "damn there's a future counseling session waiting to hppen". We constantly ask ourselves if we are doing the right thing. Then as they get older and start down their own path, we realize... did any of that matter? They are who they are, and we can only help them so much.
I think the thing about fear is what we choose to do about it. A lot of people choose not to deal with it, not acknowledge it or just ignore it. Some people internalize it, or mask it with other emotions. Personally I've masked it or just not dealt with it. I don't think I've thought too much about it until lately.
I've always wanted to paint, write, cook, be a good husband and parent, and be successful. But the fear that my paintings would look like something done by a 4 year old with finger paints or that the expensive turkey I just bought would come out tasting something like from Christmas vacation
has, in the past, kept me on the sidelines. But it's also what drives me to pick up the paint brush; get in the kitchen; break out my laptop, logon and put these words to print (so to speak). I think It's also what drives me to sit hour after hour talking to a complete stranger.
Over this last year I've done quite a few things I've always wanted to in hopes to bring these fears to the surface and put them behind me. I've also made a few decisions that I didn't think I would have the courage to make let alone talk about.
I've come to realize there are more irrational fears driving my decision making process than I once thought. Now the question is what to do about them.
What are you afraid of and better yet, how do you going to deal with them?
Over this last year I've done quite a few things I've always wanted to in hopes to bring these fears to the surface and put them behind me. I've also made a few decisions that I didn't think I would have the courage to make let alone talk about.
- I will paint, and post my paintings in my online. I'm very self critical, but it's a learning experience,right. Paints Album
- I have quit drinking (long story for another day).
- I will write (here mostly). Normally I have Linda, my sage editor and grammar checker, keeping me from sounding like a baboon chattering away behind the keyboard; however this is not "our" rambling blog now is it.
- I will cook things I've never made, along with things I have. I want to impart my passion for food, cooking and being in the kitchen to those that are forced to eat the outcome (or at least suffer through a taste test).. and you know who you are.
- I will be more assertive and not apologize about it... after all what's the worse thing someone will say: no, piss off, leave, stop - none of that really matters.
- It's OK to be wrong and admit it; hell it's actually helpful (don't tell Linda I said that). I see it everyday, people can't admit it, won't admit or worse and it drives everyone around them mad.
I've come to realize there are more irrational fears driving my decision making process than I once thought. Now the question is what to do about them.
What are you afraid of and better yet, how do you going to deal with them?